Non-Jews are for practice
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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