I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize