Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
last night I used snow as a chaser
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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