I love black thongs
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
