u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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