im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He shit in the fireplace
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