that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize