So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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