Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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