at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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