dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
