The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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