The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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