My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize