Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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