I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
