Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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