worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
