Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
