What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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