what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
