She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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