I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
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The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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