He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
