Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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