Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
