We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
