One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Randomize
