Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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