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• (303): View more from Colorado

  If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums

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• (819): View more from Quebec

  there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I just commented on the education level of his penis.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.

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• (315): View more from New York

  My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  oh shit.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.

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