whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We need a shit load of segways right now
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
