East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
