Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
3 2 1 whiskey
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
