We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
