But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I think your dad took our porno
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
