Old men and throwing up are my life now.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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