Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
