This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
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