I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
