i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
