franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
