I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Pappa wants mamma naked
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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