At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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