I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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