What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Randomize
