Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She needs sedatives and a leash
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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