How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
