Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
These tits shall not be calmed
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