I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
