My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
