just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
