he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
