Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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