ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
