I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
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