I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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