Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
