Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
