you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
