I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize