Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
