I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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