She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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